JOURNALS

Love Love Love.jpg

“When I look at you, I see your inner strength, so stately and strong. You are as secure as David’s fortress. Your virtues and grace cause a thousand famous soldiers to surrender to your beauty. Your pure faith and love rest over your heart as you nurture those who are yet infants. I’ve made up my mind. Until the darkness disappears and the dawn has fully come, in spite of shadows and fears, I will go to the mountaintop with you— the mountain of suffering love and the hill of burning incense. Yes, I will be your bride. Every part of you is so beautiful, my darling.

 

For you reach into my heart. With one flash of your eyes, I am undone by your love, my beloved, my equal, my bride. You leave me breathless— I am overcome by merely a glance from your worshiping eyes, for you have stolen my heart. I am held hostage by your love and by the graces of righteousness shining upon you. How satisfying to me, my equal, my bride. Your love is my finest wine—intoxicating and thrilling. And your sweet, perfumed praises— so pleasing. Your loving words are like the honeycomb to me; your tongue releases milk and honey, for I find the Promised Land flowing within you. What a perfect partner to me now that I have you.

Your life flows into mine, pure as a garden spring. A well of living water springs up from within you, like a mountain brook flowing into my heart! Then may your awakening breath blow upon my life until I am fully yours. Breathe upon me with your Spirit wind. Stir up the sweet spice of your life within me. Spare nothing as you make me your fruitful garden. Hold nothing back until I release your fragrance. Come walk with me. I have come to you, my darling bride, for you are my paradise garden!

 

Come walk with me until I am fully yours. Come taste the fruits of your life in me.”

“He alone is my beloved. He shines in dazzling splendor yet is still so approachable— without equal as he stands above all others, outstanding among ten thousand! The way he leads me is divine. His leadership—so pure and dignified as he wears his crown of gold. Upon this crown are letters of black written on a background of glory. He sees everything with pure understanding. How beautiful his insights—without distortion. His eyes rest upon the fullness of the river of revelation, flowing so clean and pure. Looking at his gentle face I see such fullness of emotion. Like a lovely garden where fragrant spices grow— what a man! No one speaks words so anointed as this one— words that both pierce and heal, words like lilies dripping with myrrh.

 

See how his hands hold unlimited power! But he never uses it in anger, for he is always holy, displaying his glory. His innermost place is a work of art— so beautiful and bright. How magnificent and noble is this one— covered in majesty! He’s steadfast in all he does. His ways are the ways of righteousness, based on truth and holiness. None can rival him, but all will be amazed by him. Most sweet are his kisses, even his whispers of love. He is delightful in every way and perfect from every viewpoint. If you ask me why I love him so, O brides-to-be, it’s because there is none like him to me. Everything about him fills me with holy desire! And now he is my beloved—my friend, forever.”

Reflections

Who knew the Bible could be so saucy!! I know I did not. I recently learned that some people believe Song of Songs is a song written between God (The Bridegroom) and His people (The Bride), and some believe it is a song written between a literal groom and bride. I, on the other hand, believe it can be used as a reference interchangeably between both perspectives. In this journal, I am going to be discussing these verses from the perspective of a woman who has been thinking about love and the kind of man I will welcome into my life one day.

When I was in high school, love was a cookie-cutter, innocent infatuation. I had a crush on a senior and threw the term love around as if it were a boomerang. When that boomerang came back, it always slapped me right in the face. I did not know how to love myself, and low self-esteem became a common theme throughout my life at a young age. As a college student, love was more a desire for attention, distractions, and dating was an activity used to suppress painful memories. As a young adult living in Nyc, the idea of love became a source of great fun and entertainment. (which deserves a journal entry all on its own) 

Throughout these seasons of my life, I have loved only one man deeply. Unfortunately, how it began foreshadowed how it ended. Messy. Still, I cannot say I have ever been in love or dated a soulmate. For quite some time, I doubted love could be anything like the verses written above. I doubted God’s existence. I believe my doubt derived from my ignorance. I doubted a love I never experienced just as I doubted a God I did not know. I have yet to date as a believer of Jesus, but my perspective has been transformed. 

Renewing my relationship with God has helped me establish healthy singleness and value my own company. For the first time in my life, I can say I have a great sense of self-worth and am unafraid of aloneness. However, I am imperfect. I have a whole lot of Jesus in my life, but a woman (me) still gets a little lonely and impatient every once in a while. That is until I read verses/books like this one. They snatch my lungs with every word and act as a reminder of God's love. Through God's love, my mortal heart may experience a human love as great as God's.


When I close my eyes, I envision a love like these excerpts. A mutual love shared between two equals that surpass pride, fear, anger, physicality, and even time and mortality. There is a love that chooses resilience and perseverance through hardships and doubts. A love that evolves as we travel through each season of our lives. I have experienced this love through God, my mom, through the creation of art, in friendships, and now I look forward to experiencing a different type of this love with

a life partner.

 

I look forward to growing with someone. I am excited to learn a man's heartbeat and pray with him. I want a hug that will heal my world from a man with a long arm span. Do not lie to yourself! You know a good hug will brighten your day! I am ready for the type of love that involves sensual kisses and cuddles too. A woman (me) has holy desires to be held at night. We all know I would be lying if I said I did not! 

The only difference between then and now is that I am no longer a young girl behaving impulsively because of insecurity, pain, and fear. I am a woman growing in God, love, and building my life with wisdom and patience.

Extras

Kind of related, but also not really related. Here is a link to a performance of pure talent and pure love. The voice! The song! The music! Oh my! I love art!

August 11, 2019

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Song of Songs 4:4-6 9-12 15-16 (TPT)

Song of Songs 5:10-16 (TPT)